We Can Not Tell Kuhn!
by Jack The Riddler
Summary: People are not as they seem on the outside, Haseo discovers. a strange coincidence brings him closer to a person he never would have thought possible to become close to. Rating subject to change.Read and review, hope you enjoy it! EDITED VERSION


**We Cannot Tell Kuhn!**

Authors notes: this is a 2 shot of Haseo and Pi; yes I said Pi and Haseo. But it could turn into a real story depending on what the reviews are. I hope you find this peek into my demented and (i'm not gonna lie.) perverted mind entertaining. Also, I have not finished the third game so I do not know if my information is right.

Disclaimer: come on now, do I really have to say this? (Bandi representative smacks with briefcase) Ow! Fine, fine. I don't own .HACK//G.U. or any of the characters featured in this story.

Haseo logged into "The World" after a long day of math and other schoolwork. He was instantly bombarded with short mails, many asking various things. "Would you like to go on a quest later?" "How's it going?" "Wanna go and train?" But the short mail that truly caught his attention was the one from Pi. "Meet me at **delta, burning, forbidden, Lovers**. Oh and you can bring whoever you want." Her message said. Haseo knew Pi better than that though, he _knew_ that she wanted him to come alone. "_I wonder what it is this time, the name of the area isn't helping either,_" he thought to himself as he warped to the area.

When he got to the area, he saw the full beauty of it. The area was fashioned after an open field that lead to a beach. The sun was setting and its reflection shimmered across the water. The sky was an odd shade of peach…had she hacked the area? As he walked around the area, he noticed there were also no monsters. "_Okay, there's no way she killed all of the monsters, this area is a bit high level…even for me,_" he thought. After a few more minutes of wandering around, he found Pi sitting on the beach mumbling something to herself. She noticed him looking at her and patted the ground next to her, motioning for him to sit next to her. As he sat, they began to talk; whenever Haseo said something rude, though, it usually ended with a swift but playful slap to the face.

Haseo noticed his relation ship with Pi grow, but he never thought anything of it. He found that she was very different when she _really_ opened up. For instance, she loved a good joke…or the fact that she was a pervert. So, one can imagine that with the free handed options of "The World", that would make some situations…uncomfortable… for Haseo when she really opened up. "Hahahaha! That was funny!" pi exclaimed, laughing at the joke Haseo just told her.

"Hehe…I didn't think you would like that joke," Haseo said with a small grin on his face.

"Ok, I know this is rude or whatever, but this is killing me… how old are you, Pi?" he said, closing his eyes in anticipation of another swift slap to the face.

"Humph! How rude!" Pi said "but… I guess if I let you just make random guesses for too long you will probably just think I'm some 70 year old cat lady. So, if you really must know… I'm actually 24." Pi said, looking away from Haseo to hide a blush. Haseo could only gawk; he thought she _was_ some 70-year-old cat lady. "My turn to ask a question, how old are _you?_" she said, as she reached up to pinch his cheek. He winced at the pinch all this… touching… she did lately when they met alone made him uncomfortable. Between the slaps on the butt, cheek pinching, the bear hugs, and grabbing at other…sensitive areas, he was beginning to go mad. Even though those parts of his body weren't really there, it was still embarrassing and awkward for him.

"Se- seventeen…" Haseo mumbled, wondering what her mind was cooking up. Just as an odd smirk worked its way on to her face, Haseo got a short mail from Silabus. "Hey, Haseo. If your not too busy, would you mind coming down to our at home in Breg Epona?"

"G-gotta go!" Haseo said hastily. Before Pi knew it, Haseo had warped out of the area they had met in.

"Oh well…" Pi said as she starred into the beautiful sunset of the area.

"Thanks Silabus, you really saved my ass. So what is it that you wanted to talk about?" Haseo asked as he walked into the home

"Really? Anyway, we just got your party invitation…Ryou," said Silabus

"Don't go telling everyone that's my real name," Haseo said, scowling.

"I wouldn't do that, i'm just joking around Haseo." He said defensively. Just then, Atoli walked out of the alchemy room. "Hey Ryou, just got your invite. Kind of weird that we live only 30 minutes from each other huh?" she said

"Hey Chisuga, yeah that is pretty weird…" Haseo said, voice trailing off. (Haseo and Atoli already know each other's names in my story.)

"Oh! I sent invitations to Gaspard and Kuhn, but… it turns out they live in Korea…" Silabus informed.

"_well, i've invited all my friends from school…the only people I could invite to the party now would be… Piros? Hell no. Hmm, maybe Endrance? Nah. well, Pi said she's only 24…sure! Ill invite her!" _Haseo thought.

"I know who I'm gonna invite!" Haseo exclaimed. "Be sure to send a picture so that I can find you!" he shouted as he ran out of the at home.

"Ok, I think I should tell her to meet me back at…that… area." Haseo said out loud. When he warped back to the area, it was completely different! The area was damp and fungal; moss seemed to be growing on the monsters as well! If he could smell it, he was certain that he would gag upon a pungent odor of must and stale air. "_She did hack the area…" _Haseo thought as he sent her the short mail that coaxed her back to the area. At first it didn't work, but when he made it sickly sweet and sugar coated, it seemed to do the trick. After a few brief moments, the area changed back to the lush field that led to the agonizingly beautiful beach. After a minute of waiting, Pi showed back up in the area. "Hey, Pi!" Haseo said with a fake cheer in his voice. "I need to ask you something," he said, some of the cheer dropping out of his voice. When Haseo if she lived near his address, all that she did was smile. "Actually, my house is only a 10 minute walk away from there…is that _your_ address, Haseo?" she asked curiously, already knowing the answer.

"Yeah, and your invited to my party this Saturday," He said with a genuine smile on his face.

"Oh really? Ill is sure to show up. Oh, and by the way… the names Reiko," she said as she twisted his hair in her fingers. At this point, Haseo was blushing madly… her face was _awfully _close to his.

"Uuh, ill s-send you a uh… invitation…b-by the way, my… real n-name is… Ryou," he managed to stutter before she turned and left, smiling at him, seductively almost.

Haseo logged out, took off his Visor, and began to rub his eyes. He was dizzy all of the sudden. _"What the hell did she just do to me?" _he thought. "Ryou! You better get going if you're going to get the stuff for your party this Saturday!" his mother yelled. _"Yeah, the party is in two days… I better get ready for it; ready for __**her**__" _he thought.


End file.
